


Christmas is Cancelled

by icatherine



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 03:52:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1102083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icatherine/pseuds/icatherine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elena can't believe it. After everything she and Damon had been through, he decides to leave her. He thinks he's not good enough for her and he can't stand destroying her life. But it is not up to him and she wants to fight for their love. Will this Christmas be white or heartbreaking?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas is Cancelled

After he left, nothing felt real. She had spent the whole night by the fireplace, knowing he was right upstairs, probably sleeping. Oh, picturing him sleeping like an angel made Elena feel worse. It was nearly six in the morning. It was snowing. And for some reason it made her mad.

“I’m bad for you” he had told her. “I refuse to change you” Was he really that stupid?  _You already did_ , Elena thought _. You changed my entire life! And you can’t simply change me, make me feel so alive and then just leave me. You can’t!_  How could he be so blind? He wasn’t bad for her, he was her only choice, a choice she knew she would never regret.

_I need a drink_ ,she whispered to herself. As she filled her glass with Damon’s favorite bourbon, she thought of every moment they spent in that same living room, standing by that same fireplace. She could see them dancing and remembered the way she felt when their lips touched that special night; she remembered choosing him and confessing her love; she remembered cuddling in that old couch, not that many days ago, forgetting about all their problems and leaving the rest of the world.

_Damn it!_  She screamed, throwing her glass at the wall, watching it break in small pieces, imagining it was her broken heart.

There was only one week left until Christmas. Last year, he told her to leave, assuring her it would make him happy. It seemed forever ago. Ever since she turned, time kind of lost its meaning.

She knew she wanted him, more than anything else, but couldn’t’t  _make_  him stay. So she did the only thing that would comfort her in that moment – she wrote.

“Dear Damon, you set me free and I understand why you did it. Once again, you think you are not good enough. But I told you before. When you think you don’t deserve something you try to ruin it. And I am not going to let you do it this time. I have to try, at least, to make you realize how wrong you are. This isn’t about you, Damon, this is about us. You don’t get to decide what I want – and I want you. I know you are not perfect and I am aware of the ghosts of your past. We have all made mistakes, things that we are ashamed of. Loving you doesn’t’t mean I will always defend you. But it means that I will always stand by your side. I understand you may need time to think, so I’ll be moving to my parents’ lake house for a while. Come meet me there on Christmas Eve if you change your mind. If you don’t show up, I will forever be thankful for everything you did to protect me, to keep me alive and for loving me so much you chose to let me go. Just know that I will always love you, no matter what. I believe this must be your choice. I already made mine, and I will never regret it. Hopefully, I will see you soon.  _Elena_.”

* * *

The day was cold and he could see the snow through the window of his bedroom. He didn’t really sleep that night. Suddenly, he hears the noise of something breaking downstairs.  _It’s probably just a glass_ , Damon supposed. But Elena never drinks on her own. He wanted to reach her, more than anything, but he knew he couldn’t. He needed to be with her, to tell her how much he loves her. But he wouldn’t. He had made a choice and he knew it there was no going back. How could he be so selfish? He was ruining her entire life, destroying her with every ghost of his past. Oh, and he had so many, haunting him every now and then. “You are a monster” Enzo had told him that day. “You were the most important thing in my life and you ruined me”. He was right, and there was no way Damon would do the same thing to her. A few months ago, he would doubt Elena’s feelings. It could all just be the sire bond. But not anymore. He knew she loved him. Didn’t know how, but she did for some reason. And that was the problem. Because she loved him, she couldn’t see how wrong he was for her. And he would be a bigger monster if he let her choose him. Loving her used to be the problem; she said it once. But now she was the blind one, so recklessly in love that she couldn’t see the beast inside him. He couldn’t change, but he refused to change her.

Finally, he decided to go downstairs. Elena was probably sleeping and he was starving. They were out of blood bags so he needed to go to the hospital. He was about to leave when he saw a suspicious piece of paper on the top of the table. It was a letter. The room smelled like ashes, and he had a glimpsed at Grayson Gilbert’s journal, now wrecked and burned. He sat and he started reading the letter. “Dear Damon…”

He grabbed his leather jacket and his keys and left the Salvatores’ house. He had a place to go. And it wasn’t the hospital.

* * *

It was, indeed, snowing.  _Why does she have to make this harder?_  Damon entered his Camaro, intending to drive to the Gilberts’ lake house, to tell Elena she had to let it go. But maybe going there would make it worse. Maybe she’d think he had changed his mind. Maybe he  _had_ changed his mind.  _No, no, no!_  He said to himself. There was a part of him that wanted to stay and fight for her. But who would he be fighting against? Who would he be defending Elena from? Maybe he was the bad guy in this story. No, not maybe. He was, definitely, the bad guy. She already had so much in her life to worry about, so much to cry over… It wasn’t her fault that he desperately needed her. No, he couldn’t ruin her life. He wouldn’t. Damon started the car and started driving, focusing on the road, which was covered with tiny snowflakes.

When he got to the lake house, everything was quiet. Maybe Elena was still sleeping. He wandered whether it would be better or not to just come back later, but he knew what he had to do, and he couldn’t let himself make excuses. He walked through the bridge and suddenly, he saw himself with Elena, just about a year ago. Her hands softly touching his face; his dead heart beating faster and faster. Or at least it seemed to be that way. It was almost impossible, the way she made him feel with only one touch. Once he returned to reality, he knocked the door. He wasn’t expecting it to be open, of course. “Elena?” he called “Are you home?” But she didn’t answer. In fact, no one answered. Maybe she had gone to town. He waited one hour, then two, then three, and when the sun came up once more, he decided it was time to go home. Maybe that was it. No more farewells.  He had already had his goodbye. He shouldn’t be disappointed and yet he was.

While going home, he saw a man dressed as Santa taking photos with a bunch of excited kids. He had completely forgotten. It was Christmas Eve. Christmas used to be his and Stefan’s favorite holiday. Well… at least before their mother died. He would, once again, celebrate alone, drinking his bourbon.  _It could be worse_ , he reminded himself. But could it? Without his mom, without his brother and now without Elena, the only woman he had truly loved… It looked like Christmas had been cancelled… forever.

He was about to enter the house when someone called him.   
  
“What are you doing?” the voice asked.   
  
“What do you mean, what am I doing? I’m going home, Stefan.” he replied.   
  
“It’s Christmas Eve. And you’re just gonna celebrate it alone? Let me guess, you and your bourbon?”   
  
“Bingo. Now if you excuse me…”   
  
“Damon, wait. Listen… I know we are not the perfect family but I’m still your brother. And I know I’ve done horrible things and I blamed you, and for that I’m sorry. I really am.”   
  
He couldn’t believe it. His little brother, right in front of him, apologizing?   
  
“Well, I was never the perfect brother anyway” he said.   
  
“But you were. “ They stared at each other for a while until Stefan broke the silence.   
  
“So, where’s Elena?”   
  
“Is that why you’re here?” Of course it was.   
  
“No, it isn’t. I can assure you that I no longer have feelings for Elena.”   
  
Well, that was new.   
  
“You… what? Since when?”   
  
“I realized I will always love her, Damon. No matter what. But there’s a difference between loving someone, and being in love. And I’m no longer in love with her. And even if I was… she chose you, brother. And she always will.”   
  
No, there was no way that man standing in front of him was his brother.   
  
“Did Katherine helped you realize that?”   
  
It was a joke. Stefan, however, didn’t answer.   
  
“I made a mistake with Elena, Stefan.” he confessed.   
  
“Can I come in now? I kinda live here too.”   
  
“Uh, yeah. Come in, there’s enough alcohol for both, I think.”   
  
But he didn’t enter his house. No, his house wasn’t fully decorated with lights, stupid yet funny snowmen, and it surely didn’t smell like cookies. Also, he didn’t have a Christmas tree in his house.   
  
“Of course you had to be late for YOUR OWN SURPRISE PARTY!” Caroline screamed.   
  
“Don’t be so hard on him” Jeremy said.   
  
“Just FYI, I still think you’re an awful person and I still hate you. BUT I want my friend to be happy and apparently you fit the job.” she told him.   
  
“Wait, hold on! What the hell is everyone talking about? And what are you doing in my house?”   
  
“It’s my fault.” Elena said, coming out of the huge Christmas tree standing in the middle of the living room. “I know I said I would give you time to think but… I can’t. I won’t let you walk away. I love you, Damon, and I will always fight for you. For us.”   
  
He didn’t know what to say. There she was, beautiful as always, telling him what he most wanted to hear.   
  
“Sometimes mistakes can be fixed” Stefan whispered in his ear.   
  
He was right. He could fix this.   
  
“Elena, I promise you I will do everything in my power to make you the happiest woman alive-”   
  
"Well, she’s technically dead” Caroline interrupted. “Sorry, sorry. Please, continue.”  
  
"I already am, Damon. You just have to promise you will never leave me again.” Elena said. “I won’t. I will never, ever leave you again.”   
  
He looked up, and he saw Caroline holding mistletoe in her hands.  
  
"Come on, I don’t have the whole day!” she said, trying to sound annoyed, but everyone could see her smile.   
  
Damon looked Elena in the eyes and he knew he would never make the same mistake again. She was crazy for loving him. And yet, he knew he could never let go of her. When their lips touched… it just consumed him.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Damon.”


End file.
